"Not Jason"

I’m not Jason. I don’t really hit the gym. I’d rather have a beer and spend time on the Internet. I’m not tall, tan, or toned. Not tough, but resilient. I don’t really win competitions that often, always teetered on the edge of nerdy and five foot seven. Girls seem to think I like it when they call me cute but they’re wrong. However, I’ll take what I can get. Maybe if I traded in my road bike for a motorcycle and had some perfect wavy hair I’d almost be Jason. I’ll never be Jason, James Bond, Clint Eastwood, Brad Pitt, Kobe Bryant, or Ken. I'll be me and I’ll tell my wife that I can’t fix her car, but I can cook her a great dinner. That I’ve got a passion for music, not football (though I used to play as a linebacker before everyone else hit a growth spurt). I’ll kill the spiders but I wont like it. She’ll be OK with all of this, but she probably won’t be named Jenny.